Thursday, July 15, 2010

I will never forget you. never.

Sometimes I forget how much I love my family.

Tonight was the first night I had been to my Grandpa's since he died over a year ago.

I sobbed on the way over. I don't know whether it was the angsty teen ballad playing in the background, but this wave emotion just came over me and I cried.

My Aunt was there and we figured out which key it was to get in the house and went inside.

I hadn't been in that house since February of 09. It was weird looking around and seeing things scattered about to be separated amongst the kids and grandkids. I looked into his bedroom. The room he passed in. It is filled with Christmas things, but when I walked in I just felt him all around me. Like he was hugging me again. I really needed that hug.

My Aunt and I talked for close to 2 hours about everything. My Grandpa, my family, my life, my gramps.. It was so overwhelming.

I have lost two of the most important figures in my life in the past 3 years.

I miss them. My heart aches for them.

But like my Aunt said, "It's just too hard to miss him anymore"
It's true but neither of us can help it.

I learned we are so much alike it is unreal.

I think tomorrow I might pop over to the graves of my grandpa's just to say hi.
It has been too long.

1 comment:

  1. I've never stopped missing my Grnadpa and he died about five years ago. It gets easier but still comes in waves. Last month I got his birthday tattooed on the inside of my wrist. I cried for days afterward, but now it feels good. Better.