Diiiiiig.

Well, I am apparently horrible at keeping up with my promises. Unfortunately, real life is kicking my butt and I'm working harder on reading two books by tomorrow that I am at keeping this bad boy up-to-date. What's tomorrow you ask? Well, it is July 1st and I start my Harry Potter read-a-thon! 7 books in 31 days. Can't beat that! I do it every year. LOVE IT.

Yes, I am a huge Harry Potter nerd.

Anyways, its time for...

What I'm Diggin' On!


This week I'm diggin' on...

1. The Crazy Family I didn't realize I had - yeah, I went to dinner with my mom's side of the family last night.. but more on that tonight in a different post.

2. My Sister & Brother-In-Law - They are paying for my plane ticket out to New Hampshire this summer which is like a HUGE weight off my shoulders. We really had no idea how we were going to afford to get me out there because I certainly couldn't afford that!

3. The 30 Day Challenge - I started a week behind everyone but I LOVE IT! I really need to get some pictures up here... so long as no one judges me on my terrible art work.. Oi.

4. My house - It has been very peaceful this week with the parents out of town. I can't wait for them to come home though, then there will be food in our house again!

5. The Horrible Work Coffee Every Morning - It is seriously bad coffee, but without it I doubt I'd make it through the morning. Oh coffee.. We have such a love/hate relationship.

6. Having my own office - It is so nice to be able to sit in the privacy of my own office without having to worry about anyone overhearing EVERYTHING I do.

7. Lists - I definitely have a thing for lists. All day long I make one list after another. Heck, I even make lists about lists! It is really a disease.. or maybe just a phase that will fade out.. hmm..


What are you diggin' on this week?

To be contemplated..

What is with teenagers these days?

I'm not talking about the 17, 18 & 19 year olds, I'm talking 13-16. I obviously can't say that the 17-19 category isn't without its issues, having just left that category I can testify to that but that isn't what I'm getting at here.

Why is having a baby being so romanticized by these kids? These little girls that have barely started their periods, whose breasts are just beginning to grow and whose curves are barely forming. They want children. Why the rush to grow up?

After being smacked in the face with reality a few times over, I can't even imagine going back to those young teen days. Everyone is so awkward. No body has any direction. And now on top of that they all have raging hormones screaming at them to get laid. What the hell?

These girls have little to no sense of direction in life.
My heart is absolutely aching for them.

I'm sitting here wondering how I can lend a hand to help these girls turn around.. To not want all of these things.. If only they knew what reality can do to set them straight. Reality really is a bitch.. They have no idea.

My mom has always told me that I should tell my story which usually follows up on how she doesn't understand how remarkable I am for surviving and overcoming all that I have been through.

I had to grow up at the ripe old age of 15. There wasn't time for a child hood for me. I really missed out on that. I don't want these girls to miss out on that. To enjoy being a carefree teen..

Maybe it is time I told my story.
Maybe that will give them the reality they need.
_ _ _

On a lighter note.

My friend Chris summed up Twilight tonight in a handful of words...

"WAIT, there's tension? Just let me take off my shirt and things will be fine."
"If I have sex with a vampire I'll be destroyed and if I have sex with a werewolf he'll rip my head off.. decisions, decisions."
"Yeah, uh, I'm a vegetarian, I eat deer and shit."


Chris,
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.


Well, I'm off to read. Shocking right?

BrideZilla.

A little over a year ago a friend of mine got married. I was a bridesmaid.

It is important you understand that I was just a BRIDESMAID. Emphasize the maid part times like a billion.

Since I registered for her wedding February of 2009 I have been receiving letters and phone calls from various wedding places including David's Bridal, Men's Wearhouse, so on and so forth. All of them trying to convince me that I should use their store for my impending wedding.

Well, guess what Wedding places..

I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED.
at least not right now.
I'm not even engaged.

So imagine my delight when on my way to see one of my girlfriends I received a phone call from one of the above places...

*The name has been changed and the company has been blanked out for their safety and my own.*

Pat - Hi may I please speak with Ella?
Me - Speaking
Pat - Well hi! My name is Pat and I'm calling from _______________.
Me - Hello...?
Pat - First of all we just wanted to call you and congratulate you on your engagement and see that you have planned your wedding for August. How are the plans going?
Me - They aren't.
Pat - Oh! Have you finalized all your plans?
Me - I only have one plan.
Pat - What is that?
Me - Get engaged before I plan a wedding.
Pat - YOU AREN'T ENGAGED?!?!?!
Me - No, not yet.
Pat - Oh well, sorry to bother hope it happens for you soon.
Me -Thanks, have a good day.

Now, thats how the conversation should have gone, but since I have this unseemly sick sense of humor the conversation was more like this...

P - Hi is this Ella?
M - Yes it is.
P - Hi, my name is Pat and I'm calling from _________. Our records show that you are getting married in August. How are the wedding preparations going?
M - Well, unfortunately, we had to move the wedding unexpectedly. We had some family crisis's and such that made it practically impossible to get married this summer.
P - Oh well, I'm sorry to hear about that. Let me tell you some of the deals that we have going on right now so in the future when you finally get to this part of the preparation you can think of us.
M - OH THANK YOU SO MUCH!
P - *rambles on about said deals* And congratulations on your engagement!!
M - Thankyou.
P - We will continue to call you over the next year and check and see when you are ready for _____. Would that be okay?
M - Of course.


Okay, so I'm not getting married and I just told this lady that she could continue to call me and basically taunt me on how I'm not getting married anytime soon. Awesome.

So to sum it up.. When I registered the people at David's Bridal effed it up and put me down as Bride and not as bridesMAID. I think the only way to make this stop is to either
a.) get married
b.) get married
or
c.) get married.

Shit. My options are not looking so good.
 I will be dealing with this for like.. another 10 years. GREAT.

this does not hurt so good.

I am in a considerable amount of pain.
I have been for most of the day.
I am so tired but the pain will not subside making it very difficult to sleep.

I just want to close my eyes and find myself in that glorious place that is dreamland.

Speaking of Dreamland... There is a book by that name by Sarah Dessen which is an absolutely amazing book and I highly recommend it. Seriously, read it.

I'm working on my 101/1001 list. I'm up to like 30. It will officially start once I've completed it.
For now, it is just sitting in my drafts taunting me like "seriously? You can't come up with crazy cool things to put on here?" Well no list, I can't. I'm trying. I guess I could just put some super easy things on there right?

Well, I'm going to attempt sleep.
I'll be posting my first 3 journal prompts in the morning.
Those should be interesting.

Driving Balls down to Texas.

Today I have diligently been working on a few projects for work and for myself.

I've done up through prompt 2 on the 30 Day Challenge. I'm WAY behind  everyone else, but who cares! Pictures to be posted within the next 3 days.

It felt so good to get things accomplished.

I went for a walk today. I used to walk just about everyday, usually only the rain deterred me. But I haven't in a while and boy did it feel good! I can't believe that I have been so lazy and haven't been going on walks or just keeping active. After a co-worker told me that my shirt was "bulging" I immediately am taking action to make sure that my shirt doesn't bulge.

By the way, I have never been a big girl. Ever. I may have been porky a time or two in my life, but seriously EFF OFF.

Tomorrow is my Friday. I get a much needed 3 day weekend and I couldn't be more excited.

Now, not to make this the most boring post in history I present to you...

TALES FROM THE DINNER TABLE:
Brought to you by yours truly and the ridiculous conversations that are had at the dinner table in my humble abode.

On tonight's episode we find me and my parents in the restaurant that is Red Robin...

Dad dropped us off at the door to park and my mom and I walked in and grabbed our table. My dad came in and, of course, saw some people he knew and stood and talked to them for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was only like 3 minutes.
Now, in order to understand this you have to know that people have been breaching the sanctity that is family dinner since I was 8. Awesome right? Wrong. It is so annoying and I swear there is not a place we go (Even in Disney World) that we are not approached or my dad doesn't know somebody there. It is annoying and 9 times out of 10 my mom and I are BEYOND hungry and need to eat like right then and there.

So he strolls over to us when...

My mom asked who it was he was talking to..

His answer?

Dad - "Blenda"
Mom - "Balinda?"
Dad - "Yeah, just without the Uh."
Me - "So like Blender but replace the "er" with an "uh"
Dad - "Exactly!"
Mom - "So ... like ... Splenda?"
Dad - "yes"

Then a whole bunch of wildly inappropriate jokes about her name ensued which cause my dad to tell us to hush up since they were close enough that there was a chance they could hear us.

Like...
Mom - "So like Galinda, 'Is she a good witch or a bad witch?' right?"
Me - "Well clearly Galinda is the good witch since good and Galinda start with a G and Blenda is clearly bad since bad and Blenda start with a B. Makes sense."

I told you they were bad jokes.

Mom - "So it was Blenda and...?"
Dad - "Her husband Rex."

*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* yes. We absolutely laughed out loud. I mean, LOLing hard core.

It gets better.

Dad - "Do you remember the time I interviewed him for the song he wrote "Driving balls down to Texas"

OHMAHGAWD.

So basically Blender - the 'er' + an 'uh' is married to Rex (I immediately thought of Rugrats) who wrote a song titled "Driving Balls down to Texas".

Then there was the waiter who continued to bring my dad like a million iced teas and then disappeared for a while. He kept making jokes like "You better watch how much you drink you are driving"

Needless to say, that wasn't funny.. at all.
Thank you Red Robin.
Holy Crap.
You made my entire week.

And that concludes tonight's episode of

TALES FROM THE DINNER TABLE.

Good night.

I like asterisks.

Well, I think I accomplished 1 thing.

I bought the journal for the 30 day challenge and some pens to start out.

I absolutely hate the pens and of course I can't find the receipt to return it.

*hits self in the forehead*
*repeat like 5 times*

So, I'm stuck with these pens for the time being. I WILL find that receipt if it kills me.

The note book I got is pretty legit. It is 100% recycled. YAY for another way I'm going green. I've been trying for years to find little ways to be greener to help out our beautiful world. So high five to me!

*high fives self*

I also got paint for my Mac today. Super pumped to be able to share with you some weird things that have happened recently. WOOT for illustrations!


Well, Oscar the zebra and I are going to snuggle and hit the sack, after I write a page in my notebook, do one puzzle and read one chapter.

oh yeah? prove it.

Well, I managed to accomplish absolutely nothing on my to do list today.

High five me?

I suppose that tomorrow(today) is my chance for redemption.. right?

Sigh..

Anyways, I'm adding a new tid bit to the blog, once a week I'll be posting things I'm diggin' on and see where it goes.. Until I find the right day it will be 100% random. So, here we go..

I'm diggin' on:

1. My job. I'm just grateful to still have one in this horrid economy.


2. My kitties. I really should post some pictures of them and tell you a little about them.. yes, I realize that makes me a weird cat lady.

3. Blogging in general. The community is absolutely amazing. I love finding new blogs to read and having discussions with anyone and everyone!

4. My bed. I can't seem to get enough sleep.

5. Reading. Yes, I've said it before and say it a million times again I LOVE READING. I'm in one of my phases where I read a ton so bare with me.

6. Art. I used to be extremely artistic. I now have to get back into it, but I'm getting there with lots of new projects!!

7. My Mom. She is just awesome and definitely one of my best friends. I absolutely adore spending time with her and I love getting to email with her all day long. She is the best.

I think I'll wrap it up there on a very high note!
Love you momma!
The list will vary in size week to week. We'll see how this works.

What are you diggin' on this week?

LETS GET THIS STARTED.

I want to be more creative.

I used to be uber creative. I used to draw, paint, act, sketch, sing, etc.. etc..

So I'm asking myself where did that go?
I love doing this stuff, why don't I do it more often? Why don't I find my thing and run with it.

I have a few projects lined up/working on.

1. A bird painting. I'll be posting the finished product once I'm done. I'm also going to be trying a couple new techniques to see what I can come up with.

2. A scrapbook. I've never scrapbooked before so the outcome should be interesting.. I just need some more pictures and more materials.

3. Sketching. I am forever trying to teach myself to sketch/draw. I usually fail miserably and give up.

4. Possibly a 30 day journal challenge. I think I'm going to get the materials tomorrow and catch up with the rest of the group. I love the idea and hope that it turns out well. Look out Border's, I'm coming your way!

Anyways, I just need something to keep me occupied right now. I've been writing an awful lot in here and in a journal I have. I've been neglecting my actual journal and will be cracking it open tonight before I go to bed. I think it is important...

I've also been reading an awful lot. Goodness me I love reading. It's just finding a balance between working, reading, writing and artwork and having a life that I'm not sure how I'll handle everything. but by george, I will!

So plan of action for tomorrow:

• Work (obviously)
• Pick up a blank journal from Borders with fun colorful pens. (maybe)
• Start catching up on the 30 day challenge.
• Paint for a little while. 
• Pick up my sketch book and attempt something. (This isn't mandatory, just an idea if time.)
• Bike Ride. 
• Blog, obviously.
• Write in my journal.
• Read!
• Sleep.

Long list.
Lots to do.

Good Night.

Happy Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day.

My dad is an amazing man.
I am very grateful to have him.

He has done so much for me in the past 20 years.
and I know he'll continue to do more over the next 20.

So I raise a cigar for you today dad and pray that the Tiger's win.

:]

Happy Father's Day Michael J.

berka derka. <-- nonsense.

The days following my birthday have been full of ups and downs. Mostly downs.

Harsh things were said at work, things that could've been rephrased were said but hey, gotta keep my head up and keep moving forward and show them whats up.

Bunny, the kitty, broke its leg in two places. So instead of a date night with me and the bf, we had to take him to the emergency vet. I am not happy about it. I still would like to know what the eff happened, but I know I never will... Just 4 weeks of cage rest and then he should be okay. Apparently cats heal very well.

Just finished with my dad's radio show. It was a great time. I am still surprised by how much I love doing the show. And getting paid is quite a perk :]

I feel like I don't have anything to talk about.
But, I might go to Starbucks and use my gift card. We just don't know yet. :]

Welcome to my twenties :]

I just received the best Birthday present of all time.

My sister and brother-in-law are flying me out to New Hampshire for our family vacation. 

I am floored with their generosity. I'm so excited and so so so happy.

Now here are the birthday photos.

It was an absolutely wonderful birthday.

It is crazy that it is already over.

Used to be it took forever for my birthday to get here and now I can't believe it is over.

Here is the start of my list:

1. Get better at taking photos and documenting my life, which means scrapbooking.

(I bought the scrap book today.)

2. Travel. Travel. Travel.

I would like to see as many states as possible in the next 10 years and Europe of course!

3. Read 1,000 books.

Yes, I realize that is an outrageous amount, but I love to read. This number will probably change.

4. Write a book.

I'd like to write a book about my experiences.

Then again, who wouldn't.

5. uhh.. come up with more things for the list!

Those are the immediate things I came up with. I have other things I want to do, but I want to make sure they are material for my twenties. 

The world is my canvas and I fully intend to take it by storm :]

This is all too close to a break up letter.

Dear Microsoft Excel,

Today, I have this big project to do and you are not co-operating.
It is extremely frustrating and I am beginning to feel we aren't going to be very good friend.
I thought after last week things would be different, that we understood each other on an entirely new level.

I can't believe I was wrong.

I want to be friends.
I want to get along.
We work together every single day and it would be a horrible work environment if we were constantly bickering.

So tell me, Excel.. what can I do to make you happy? I'm still not so sure what I did to make you angry.. so please tell me. I want to fix this.

I don't want to end on a sour note.
And by sour note, I mean I am more than tempted to punch you right in the face screen if you don't start acting the way you should.

But, like I said... I do want to be friends.

So I hope this is just a silly argument and we will soon be passed it.

Help me out here.. I have a deadline and it is lunchtime.

Sincerely,

A very disgruntled Ella.

Happy Birthday to ME!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY TOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

cha cha cha. :]

And a successful birthday it was.

Photos coming tomorrow.

along with the list.

I didn't think we'd celebrate until 11..

Good night. :]

RIP in my teenage years, June 16, 2003 - June 15, 2010.

Well, this is it. My final moments as a teenager.

But what was it like for me to be a teenager?

Isn't that the question of the decade (at least for me)

My teenage years have been interesting, to say the least.

To say I haven't grown up at all would be a little naive.

Starting on June 16, 2003 ending tonight June 15, 2010. My teenage years are being kissed goodbye without too much sentiment. Of course, I enjoyed them for the most part. Would I willingly relive it? Absolutely not. But I have learned so much and grown so much it makes me almost sorry to say goodbye. Almost.

I, like everyone else, had many pivotal moments through out these years.. Entering high school, getting leads in theatre, getting my license, my first car accident, boys and boyfriends, parties, new friends, old friends, graduating high school, college, working, falling in love, getting my heart broken, death on many levels, moving out, moving home, moving in general, and of course just being a teen. An angsty teen.

Oh the life of the angsty teen.

Its so.. so.. angsty. :]

I went through a lot throughout these years.

I had to to be the person I am now. I'm not doing as much exploring to find out who I am, but rather growing as that person.

I can tell you I am so ready to continue growing and learning in this new adventure. 

I am so excited. So ready.

So lets say goodbye to my teen years with this look...

Happy Birthday to me :]

Stay tuned..

Tomorrow begins a whole new adventure.

and a simple list.

The countdown begins.

So today I took another adult step.

I asked my mom for help.

Thats right people, I willingly asked my mother for help. It isn't terribly often that I ask my parents for help and I don't understand why. They know so much! (yes mom, I know you are smiling as you read this)

We have decided to get my life into order to, hopefully, have a little more sense of stability and accomplishment as I embark on the next decade of my life.

In 26 hours, I will no longer be a teenager.

I suppose it is time to grow up.

And with this milestone I do believe I will treat myself a little to a fresh start in my twenties.

I think tomorrow I will treat myself to a haircut, get my untamed eyebrows manageable, buy a dress and of course.. new shoes!

I can't remember the last time I bought a new pair of nice shoes.

Of course, I'm working on a budget so I have to be mindful of how much I spend, but it is my birthday, I'm allowed to splurge a little bit. :]

I'm currently working on a list of 20 things I'd like to do in my twenties (of course it could be a little more or a little less and it will never be set in stone). I'll even attempt making a link so that it can be viewed through out the next 10 years of my life and I can watch as I make progress on it. I have a lot of things I want to do and I know 10 years will fly by so fast.

But, we will get into that more on Wednesday.

I'm currently trying to get into a routine. One of things on my list is directly related to this. I am writing every morning after my shower just to make sure I write something down for the day. I'm also trying to remember to write in here and write for me and of course read. :]

I forgot how much I love reading and now that I'm getting back into it, I can't stop. I'll finish one book and immediately jump into another without hesitation. Currently I am working on:
1. Finishing the Stephanie Plum Novels - hoping to get them for my birthday
2. Getting the next book in the Sue Grafton Alphabet series - I was really surprised by how into the story I got.
3. I'm currently reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I have heard rave reviews about. I'm pretty pumped to get further than twenty pages in.

There is always the other books that are sitting on my shelf just waiting to be cracked. Maybe I will also work on a list of books I want to read. :]

So the bf did something really sweet for me on Friday..

He had been secretive about his where a bouts all day, I only knew he was running errands and said he would be up later. I'd been having a crazy hectic blahhh awful week of stress and he knew it. He got to my house and brought me out to his truck where he made me turn around and close/cover my eyes. He opened his door and I heard him pulling some stuff out of the truck and set it out. "Turn around" and there was a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a bag with a stuffed zebra (zebras are my ABSOLUTE favorite.) and a card. The flowers were like lilies which are my favorite flower but are hard to find this time of year (for a good price) But these little flowers are unbelievably beautiful. I'll try to remember to take a picture of them tomorrow. Anyways, I named my zebra Oscar. We hang out. He sits with me on my bed. But anyways, I thought it was UBER sweet. :]

Well that was a rant and a half with absolutely no point if I've ever seen one.

Good night world. Tomorrow is the last day I will ever be a teenager. I guess I better make it a good one.


Well,  I'm going to crack open the notebook and write for a bit..

I guess it is time again to put that "Help Wanted" sign in the window.

Have you ever had the urge to just jump into your car and blast music?
Like as some kind of therapy?


Well...

that just totally happened to me.

Being the Gleek I am, I turned the Glee songs I have on full blast and on shuffle and cruised the streets until I felt I had sufficiently destroyed my voice for the night.

It was so relieving.

I didn't realize I was under so much stress until the past couple of days.

Since the beginning of the year this is what has happened.

1. I was basically told I could no longer go to school because of financial aid.
2. I changed jobs. I went from a really bad one to a really awesome one.
3. A good friend of mine committed suicide, which drudged up memories of my 2 other friends that took their own lives.
4. I lost my health insurance and got my own health insurance with my new job, only to find out that I could no longer go to the doctor I've seen practically my whole life.
5. Having a new job and trying to be good at it and not get fired is stressful in itself.
6. I'm beginning to have health issues, probably related to stress.

And thats all I can think of as of right now..
but isn't that enough?

While I'm happier now than I've ever been, I think I must be maturing/growing up in a way that I didn't think possible. I'm trying to take my issues and be proactive instead of being a negative nancy all the time. I do NOT want to be a negative nancy.

So, what do you do to relieve stress?
sing in the car?
read?
scream into a pillow?

I'm looking for another method before my body really starts falling apart.

Help?

I just fell in love with a new TV show.

Seems to happen to me all the time.

Then they ALWAYS cancel it.

EERRRRRRGGGG.

Well, I'm going to love it while I can.
Especially since I don't have any real thought provoking things to say tonight.

I know, I'm disappointed myself.

Stay tuned..

OPEN UP! yo.

Well, I freaked out too soon.

My cord just doesn't work in my room.
Hopefully that rights itself soon.

So you know how all these weird things tend to happen to me?
Well, in case you didn't, you will soon find out.

Anyways, I was on my way to my Excel class this morning and when I was finally off the expressway I saw possibly the craziest thing anyone could see just driving anywhere...

I rolled by a house with 4 squad cars, 2 medics and a SWAT team, guns drawn ready to raid the house. I accelerated and got the heck outta there before things got wild at 8am.

How is it that I see these things?

anyways, I came up with some theories whilst finishing my drive:

1. Somebody was hoarding a batch of Swedish Fish and Caramello bars hostage. I know I would go in with guns drawn and probably shooting if someone was holding my favorite (and clearly everyones favorite) candy hostage.

2. A little girl was forcing Barbie and Ken to work out their problems and get back together. I know it isn't just my dream, it is the dream of millions alike. Also, I know it was a publicity stunt to break up the happy perfect couple and I figure the BIG (so I don't get in trouble) company sent in the troops to keep Barbie & Ken's reunion from happening. Although, if you are human, you know it is inevitable.

Then I arrived at my destination and figured they were breaking down the doors to a MAJOR drug bust.

How boring.

**

Glee's season finale was phenomenal. Can't wait for next season! :]

oiuahjabksjn;fuh.. yup. that about covers it.

Alright, so I'm real pissed.

I was going to write about something worthwhile tonight, but now I am furious.

Why the anger you ask?

Well, for the 2nd time in two years the charger for my mac has decided to crap out on me. So I officially have 46 (probably less) minutes until my computer dies and I have to dish out yet another $100 dollars to get a new charger.

EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

45 minutes.

Gal darnit.

Well, I have a class for microsoft excel in the morning.
WOOOO.


Okay and now I'm up to 55 minutes..

Does this make sense to anyone?

I really just hate technology right now.
but only to a certain extent

See you through the eyes of our Dell tomorrow.

Srsly.

Just had a delectible dinner. The Elephant Bar, though I'm sure a chain, is wonderful. I obviously ate WAY too much and am now starting to crave the dessert we got to go.

I can't believe I just witnessed my darling boyfriend say what he just did..

bf: Mom, do you have any hairspray?

mom: yeah, in my purse.

bf: this is really what you have?

mom: yeah why?

bf: yeah, I'm not using that.

mom: seriously? why not?

bf: I only use aerosol.

mom: just use it.

bf: NO. I ONLY USE AEROSOL!

Clearly, I am dating a girl.

Although, I can't say I've ever met a girl who wasn't happy with whatever hairspray they got.

What a clown.

On the dumb to funny scale.. I'd say this is quite hilarious.

June 3, 2009.

A year ago today, I lost a hero.


My Grandpa.

He was and still is an amazing man who continues to touch the lives of all who knew him and who hear of him.

He had this way to make all of his children and grandchildren feel special in their own way.

Any of the girls in my family will agree with me that he loved to tease us in the kindest way...

"Boy, you sure are beautiful, now make sure you don't miss out on any of your beauty sleep!"

So many phrases. So many hugs.
Just not enough.

My mom called him papason.
He loved that.

He had a knack for showing up on time 2 hours early for every family even we ever hosted. 99.99% of the time mom and I would not be even remotely ready and it would frustrate the hell out of us. But he was so helpful mashing our potatoes.

I think I mentioned how he made everyone feel special? right?
Well, he really did.
I heard stories at the funeral home from people I'd never even heard of that said that my Grandfather had a tremendous impact on their lives. He left HUGE shoes to fill, and I'm fairly certain is going to take my entire family to fill them. We will do it. It is in our blood, because of him.

I miss him dearly and wish I had spent more time with him and still could spend more time with him.

My head really isn't clear today. I haven't been able to shake this overwhelming sense of sadness. My heart aches with the loss of my hero.

He was a soldier.
That's how he met my Grandma.
They met on a train.
Wrote letters while he was over seas.
And married when he got home.
5 Children and 11 Grandchildren later he lead a beautiful existence with his wonderful wife.
He had a fairytale romance that stayed till the very end.
I was told all he was worrying about the night before was 'ma'.
It is enough to make anyone cry.
Especially me.

As I lay here typing this and carefully wiping away my tears of joy and sadness, I want to celebrate his life. I'm still trying to figure out how, but I will continue to do so every day until the day I get to see him again.

There are so many stories to tell. So many 'words to the wise' that I would love to share with you. I will someday. I have to compile my list first.


For now, I'm going to drift off into dreamland and hope I get to see him and take a walk with him in my dream. Those are really my favorite dreams.

I love you Grandpa T.
I'll miss you everyday until I see you again.

Celebrate good times, Come on!

Today is a celebratory day.

While my 20th birthday is a mere 14 days away, I was still accepted as one of the 20 something bloggers.

I couldn't be happier. :]

Now, I am completely new to how this whole blogging thing works and while I understand the concept of making posts and posting picture and heck, I even got as far giving myself a fancy new layout. I however lack the ability to make it much farther than that.

So, I am asking for advice, for site, for basically anything to help me get this blog into tip top shape for my new friends and followers.

I want to make this as special of an experience for you as it is for me.

I know, I'm real sweet like that.

On another note, I have found some fabulous blogs over the past few days. I'll be posting them soon, once I compile a list of more than 4 (which are the ones I've read, I still have some catching up here!) and credit will be given to those whom I think worthy of note via comment or email (if possible) ... I'm not sure how to alert those who are credited in the blog. Clearly, I need some help here.

I promise, my regular rants and crazy antics will resume tomorrow.

For now, thank you for reading! I so so so appreciate it. :]

Love you all.

He loves me, He loves me not, HE LOVES ME!

Today I went to my favorite store in the whole world.

Meijer.

This superstore is just beyond my wildest dreams. I am hopelessly in love with its wide variety and its low prices. My heart flutters from the very thought of it. All its different shapes and sizes, its vast selections of everything you could ever need. I swear, its like I die and go to heaven every time I put my car into park and march through those automatic doors only to gaze in on the glory that is this superstore.

Walmart?
NO THANK YOU.

A run of the mill grocery store?
I think not.

Yes, I would write the store love letters if I didn't think people would try to put me away..

Whenever I feel restless I take it out in Meijer. I live within ten miles of at least 3 Meijers, all of which are 100% different and only one is truly questionable, but still one of the objects of my desire.

If my Mac had paint, I would totally doodle little hearts all over this picture. But, I'm still working out the kinks. Hehe.


Here are my top 10 favorite things to get at Meijer:

10. Toothpaste; yes, I realize that you can get this any number of place but for some reason it is so much more appealing here with all the little tags underneath telling me how much I save.

9. Magazines; I swear I never look at magazines unless I am going through the self check out at meijer (self checkout is the best thing that has ever happened to the shopping industry btw). Then I am all about going over who is pregnant with who's baby, OHEMGEE SHE DID WHAT?, Ugh, her plastic surgery is awful.. etc..

8. Bobby Pins; I mean seriously, $0.70 for 60 bobby pins, and legit bobby pins at that. :]

7. Video Games; I more so long for than purchase these. But I have a DS and am trying to find games all the time, I had one in my cart today, but just couldn't talk myself into it.. someday though.

6. DVDs; Whether its a brand new movie or season dvd, I'm always wanting more.

5. Things I have like a million of; I find myself persistently shopping for the better version of whatever I have, just a little problem I have.

4. FOOD; Umm.. 'nuff said. Besides, they buy from local farmers. WHAT WHAT!

3. Books; Good reads come out of that place, plus, there is always a chance the book I'm pining for will drop under $20 (I am desperately hoping that day come soon)

2. Clothes; While it is hard for me to actually make a purchase, I do like perusing the clothes. :]

and the number 1 slot goes to....daadadaddadadadadadadad <--  clearly that is my drum roll.

1. PENS & NOTEBOOKS!!! But really, they have the coolest pens placed all around the store and cute neat little notebooks everywhere. Really, I should just say office supplies. But, Thats what like office max is for.


Here is my "Word to the Wise": Shop at Meijer and NOT Walmart. Walmart sucks. Don't be fooled by their low prices, the only reason they can be so low is because of their slaves in China.

... *Shifts eyes back and forth, clears throat* ...

Well..

I'm off to try out my new meijer pens and notebook.
Stay tuned.. I promise I'll have something better to write about tomorrow, today, my brain was all Writer's Block.

BTW: Glee was all sorts of FUNKY tonight, so sad its the season finale next week.