Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nom Nom Nom. I'd eat all day if people wouldn't look at me and think I was bulemic or something... *sigh*

So I'm like the worst person in the entire world to go get food with. Seriously, I mean, I am that person that does not know what she wants, says "no you decide where we go to eat" and when you choose I immediately do not like it. Then when we finally choose someplace to go, I never know what I want to eat.. except I get the same thing from these places EVERY SINGLE TIME.

My apologies to everyone that has ever had this experience with me.

I seem to have the most interesting things happen to me when I go through a drive-thru. Whether it is narrowly missing those big posts while attempting to pull around or I get the one person who CANNOT speak well. At all. And I'm all like.. okay, so it sounds like I ordered a matyr booger instead of a quarter pounder. But, I trust it as well as I can and pull forward anyways.

I, also, truly hate speaking into those boxes. I feel like I'm talking to nothing and then BAM.. A voice from the beyond. I mean.. what the aych?

So once I finally place my order, pull around, pay for my fat with a large cellulite and take off to my final food eating destination.

And despite all the uncomfortable and weird happenings, I enjoy my grease and fat and cellulite. YUMM-O.

So today, I was starving sitting at home catching up on my trashy prime time TV. And after finishing up I decided enough was enough, time to go feed the hungry monster.

I live within 10 minutes of about a million and a half chain restaurants and then some. Could I decide what I wanted? Umm.. No. I drove around for a little while and decided on KFC because hey, who doesn't enjoy a KFC bowl?

Possibly the WORST drive-thru experience of my life. Rectangular building that literally had 90 degree angles for a drive thru. As I tried to maneuver my way through this drive thru with my boat of car I notice that my car seems to be tilting.. 'What the hell?' I say to myself.. Turns out there is a pothole the size of Lake Erie 5 feet from the freaking building, smack dab in the middle of that crappy drive-thru. UGGGHHH. I dip myself through there in a panic thinking I might be sucked into a sinker or a black hole.. or something, and have to re-maneuver the boat just so I can be somewhat near the speaker boxy thing. Then.. another 90 degree angle. 2 cars ahead of me and now there is one behind me. I am completely diagonal in this skinny ass little driveway and then another car comes around, probably avoiding the horrid drive-thru, but i digress. The SUV couldn't get around me without going up on the curb despite there being a driveway with an exit literally two feet from where I was angled. Before curbing it the SUV stopped, honked its horn, flipped me a big ol' birdie and mouthed F*** YOU plain as day and then drove off as if nothing ever happened. What was I supposed to do? I was blocked in and after 5 minutes of sitting there we weren't moving.

Finally, I got up to the window, pulled out my card and paid. Now, I've never EVER had to sign when I swiped my card in a fast food place let alone in the drive-thru.. So this guy hands me a receipt and expects me to sign it for him.. I'm all like.. Umm, my car is all soft and squishy and comfortable.. this isn't going to end well.. I signed it, poking basically a big giant hole in the receipt where my signature should've been.

I got my food and the nightmare was over. I came home, ate my food and now it is back to watching trashy TV. What a life I lead.

No comments:

Post a Comment