This really is typical behavior. For me at least.

So my best friend and I work the same schedules (at different places) sometimes and the only way we get through the horribly long morning is by texting.

Usually, our conversations are short and sweet, other times they are ridiculous.

For whatever reason, I find this morning's conversation particularly hilarious and have decided to share it with you.

You're Welcome.

First, a little background information..

My friend got married a little over a year ago and for the first time in like 5 years I had a piece of cake. I haven't stopped craving sweets all day every day. I want chocolate all day long. I long for swedish fish every time I pass them or someone mentions fishing (I work for the Boy Scouts, so you see my dilemma with this) I try every cake presented to me, etc.. etc..

Recently, I've been trying to save money and have decided one way I'm going to do so is by not having to by new jeans come winter time. This means I have to lose a few pounds and cut a few inchs off my waist. I'm not fat by any means, I just am really poor and will, apparently, do anything to save a couple dollars.

So this morning C (what we shall call him) and I are texting away...

C: [writes stuff that doesn't pertain to this post] oh man, somone brought in donuts. im avoiding them but they look immaculate.

E: Bring me one.

C: ok

E: Wait! I cand eat that n

E: *cant eat the nonsense. I'm trying to look hot again remember.

E:  Sorry my fingers got all send happy on that first one.

C:  I could tell lol. trying to look hot...yeah good luck

E: F*** you. Ar you saying it can't be done?

C: i would already think you were super hot... if you werent a dude

E: Lol!

C: truth

E: Meh. Not even offended.

C: Haha. Take it as a compiment                             <---- that is 100% accurate to his spelling.

E: A compiment? Oh C* yew soh gooh at sperring

C: ah tanks erra. you nah you rove meh

E: Yew keehhp terring yewserf thah.

C: aw shrit :(

E: Since when us the and L in shit?

C: huh ahah

E: I am apparently drunk at work.. or honing in on my [not giving name] drugged up language.

E: *since when IS THERE AN L in shit? Betteh?

C: i so confrused

C: but dehr isnt an ehr in shrit

E: We substitues R's for L's. Put two and two together.

C: awwww i understand naooo. you so funry

E: Do we just add r's where ever now

C: mraybrey.

E: K. Again. Brogposs                          <-- We talk about this blog and you guys all the time! Feel special!

C: jaja

E: Why are we substituting ramdome letters for everything now?!

C: that was spanish

E: Msguwj translate that

C: ella thats inappropriate to say that to me

E: How so

C: I translated...inappropriate

E: umm what did it say fooh?


Can't make this stuff up people.

Yes so, we frequently text and talk in asian accents (our interpretation, not supposed to be hurtful and usually turns into something else or laughter) and say nonsense things.

Thats normal right?


We have possibly the weirdest conversations.

and if you are really nice good little readers, someday I'll share more with you. mraybrey.

CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE?

Ladies & Gentleman (if there are any gents) gather round for I have a grand announcement.

How grand?

So grand, it will blow your minds.

I have managed...

wait for it...

to discover The 8th Wonder of the World.

Don't know what the first 7 are? Read. Learn. Enjoy.

Seriously people.


THE 8TH WONDER OF THE WORLD.




Are you ready to have your mind blown by this awesomeness?
i mean it is possible your brain will be turned to mush after reading this.


If it does I do not want you to sue me and say I didn't give you fair warning.
I'm giving you loads of warning right here.


Make sure you prepare yourself NOW with whatever you can, be it booze, valium, punching bag, twinkies, etc..


Alright. I've warned you. Given sound (hah) advice on what to do and told you not to sue me. I think I've covered my bases thoroughly enough..

So I guess I'll stop beating around the bush and just come out and say it.

The 8th Wonder of the World is...

Guys & Girls CAN be best friends.

[HOLYPOOPSHEISAGENIUS]

Not possible you say?

Well go bury your face in a pile of something stinky or prickly because you are wrong and that is what I feel should happen to people who are wrong. Then they are stinking pricks! hah!.. ahem.. not the point.

One of my best friends is a guy.

*holy shit, is she serious?*
[why yes, yes i am]

No one, but my boyfriend and a select few others, believes that we aren't dating or that something isn't going on between us.

Clearly, everyone is under the impression that mixed gender relationships cannot exist in the world. Just because you are a douche that can't hold down such a relationship without thinking with your downstairs head doesn't mean they don't happen.

I guess you now understand that it is, of course, mostly guys that believe this kind of thing isn't possible. 

Our friends we have known for years refuse to believe it no matter how we explain it.

I mean, we have said no, we aren't dating or hooking up 1,234,524,546,312,967,856,482 times and we aren't lying.

We are best friends. Duh.

We talk about life.
We bitch about everything.
Joke about everything else.
We talk with our version of Asian accents.
Listen to music.
Usually over coffee.

It isn't anything different than what we do as a group. We just don't really care for certain people all the time and therefore choose to discuss these topics on a regular basis without the other fools.

Well, that clearly means we are dating/getting it on or whatever they think is happening.

Its not. It will never happen.
End of story.

I do realize that this isn't always the case when it comes to this phenomenon.
Some of these relationships do turn into something more and I say good for them!!
But, that is not what is happening here.

Did you know there are people out there that don't like me because they think we are lying about our friendship?

It's getting ridiculous.

So ladies & (if you are out there) gents, it is possible for a guy and a girl to be JUST friends and nothing more.

I know. Your mind is blown.
Let me know if you need help finding all the pieces!



**a good portion of this post is sarcastic though it may come across differently in writing. Please note that I am aware that people already know about this phenomenon, I'm just super fed up with getting bombarded with all these stupid questions all the time. Yes, that was my rant.

Losing it.

The pants I'm wearing today make me want to be on a yacht on the East Coast.

No joke.

I'm in such a funky place these days which explains my lack of motivation to really post like I should or keep up with the 30 days of truth. I'm in the middle of 3 paintings. Some day I'll finish them.

Goodness I need a vacation.

August 14th CANNOT come soon enough.

I have some pretty amazing ladies lined up to keep you entertained while I'm away painting and enjoying time with my family.

I got some fabulous new clothes.
Retail therapy with my mom always helps.
I guess we were both feeling a little blue.

I'm working on it though.

I really just need a solid jam session in my car with my windows rolled down and me not giving two shits that I'm singing obnoxiously and most likely off key to myself while people drive by giving me glares because I'm literally bursting their ear drums.

Okay, I'm really not a bad singer.
I'm actually quite good, but don't tell anyone I ever admitted to that.

Darn it.. I forgot my mom reads.


HI MOM!


What music do you listen to when you are in a funk? 
I could use some new stuff to learn the words to and belt in the car all alone.

Day 17

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.


For those of you who haven't caught on, I'm absolutely addicted to reading. So for me to come up with a single book that changed my views on something is difficult.
 
One that stands out in particular is "The Art of Racing in the Rain".
 
If you haven't read this book yet, go out there and buy it, borrow it, whatever and read it.
 
I sat down with this book and 4 hours later I was done and crying.
 
The story is told from the dog's point of view. I'd never read a story about a person from the perspective of their pet but let me tell you it made all the difference in the world.
 
It opens your eyes to how any and all creatures percieve you and definitely makes you wonder if they are that aware of what happens.
 
It made me appreciate the blessings I have in life more so than before and I tell ya, I loved animals just a little more than I did before. :)

rip

I feel weird.

Yesterday I found out an acquaintance of mine died 2 months ago.

I knew without putting two and two together. I was blissfully ignorant. Now I'm just aware that another one of my friends has died far too young.

I'm really tired of such things.

Aren't I too young for me to just find out people died?
I think so.

So, the whole situation makes me feel weird.
Of course I feel bad, but I don't feel like its the end of the world.
Like I said, just weird.



I'll have more to say later. 

I'm not feeling clever enough to give this post a real title.

Remember how I said that my drive to work was eventful a couple of days ago?

Well, no one has painted the rock in 3 days. I think its because the heat we are getting right now is all but unbareable. The moment I leave my deliciously air conditioned office and step into the world oh hot every inch of me begins to sweat. Seriously, place I didn't know I could sweat do on my body. It is horrible. Doesn't help that my AC in the car is busted.

Anyways, while the rock has been rather disappointing the drive hasn't.

I discovered a pub on my way to work called "stumble inn" that I thought was clever.

I saw the big fat half naked man from the other day.
*yes, I just linked the same post twice*

But today I saw something new.

A man crossing the street with nothing but boxers on.
                   not even shoes.

He looked at me and waved. I immediately accelerated and felt the need to take 10 or so showers just because the skeezy pervy man had looked at me.

Not cool dude, not cool.

I'll blame the heat for people lack of oxygen to their brains.

If I could walk around in just my boxers.. I probably would too. Except I wouldn't be a skeezy pervy man who looked and waved at girls in cars that clearly are disgusted by me.

jussayin.

coffee.

I burnt the crap out of my tongue yesterday.
Good to know that the thermos really does keep the coffee hot.
So now I can only taste food when it hits the back of my tongue.



I'm terrified to drink my coffee this morning.
I don't want to lose my ability to taste on the back of my tongue too!
So I'm taking the necessary precaution to avoid burning the rest of my tongue to tasteless smithereens.


 I put my lips to the thermos and feel the heat just radiating in there waiting to burn me and I don't drink it!

Garsh I'm awesome.

the coffee is taunting me with 'nana- nanah-na-na's'.
but I refuse to not

Naturally I'm all but falling asleep at my desk ...