Cloudy with a chance of Word Vomit.

So the unbelievable has happened to me this week..

I have learned something new about myself..

I know, totes what you were thinking right?

Wrong?
Shit..

Sorry for the huge let down on that one.. actually, no I'm not.

Anynews, I guess that this new thing isn't really new, it just came more to light for me than it had before.

I am an over sharer.

Whew, feels good to get that one out there.

I swear to you it's like something happens to me and I want to spew it out to anyone, and I mean anyone, who will listen. It's bad people.. BAD.

For example, Monday was my Gramps' birthday and I was super emotional because I hadn't been to the grave in some time and was just a little freaky about going there. I told anyone and everyone that would listen. At one point I remember thinking to myself "I have asked you 3 times what your plan is for the day, ASK ME WHAT MINE IS SO I CAN TELL YOU I'M ALL EMOTIONAL AND FREAKY ABOUT GOING TO THE CEMETERY!!!!", cause I'm super psycho like that.

I need a muzzle  someone to talk to right now because I'm going through all of this really icky yucky emotional junk and I am seriously struggling to keep all of it to myself especially since it is no one elses business but mine. The words sit on my tongue like something that tastes really bad, the moment its there, you just want to spit it out.

Don't get me wrong, I only spill MY secrets/issues/whateverishappeninginmylife. I'm actually really good at keeping other people's secrets because I definitely have a killer conscience. Seriously, Connie (my pet name for my conscience) and I have this awesome relationship where if I even think about leaking someone elses information anywhere she hits me hard with some sort of body ailment that puts me in bed for some time. She's a peach.

Your secrets are safe with me. Except from my journal (that i hide) or from the police if you like murdered someone or something, because I am TOTALLY not going to keep that secret for you.. It would make me an accomplice. I don't think so.

WOAH, just got WAY off topic..

As for me, myself and I, I'm just a sharer, a perpetual sharer.

It is taking everything in me to not tell you all of the crap I am currently dealing with.
I want to so badly. You are the people that I have turned to for other things and you tend to get me and have these awesome words of advice and encouragement. But I can't bring myself to put it out here in the internets.. At least not yet.

And if you are anything like me, your curiosity is getting the better of you and you are about ready to punch your computer screen (or hunt me down, whatevs) because you want to know what in the heck little miss Ella is dealing with that she won't tell us. I totally would.

Well, I'm going to go stick my head back into some dirt and pray that no one comes to me today wanting to know how I'm feeling or how I'm doing, I don't think I'm going to last much longer.. I can already feel the shell cracking...

UGH.

-Ella

*I'll be posting here until the new site is up and i promise I'll do a better job of it. I've been kind of the suck lately at this.. I'm also hoping to get my new site up and running by the end of this month/early October.

**Find me on twitter @stella_ella and "@" me so I know who you are!!!