Welcome to my twenties :]

I just received the best Birthday present of all time.

My sister and brother-in-law are flying me out to New Hampshire for our family vacation. 

I am floored with their generosity. I'm so excited and so so so happy.

Now here are the birthday photos.

It was an absolutely wonderful birthday.

It is crazy that it is already over.

Used to be it took forever for my birthday to get here and now I can't believe it is over.

Here is the start of my list:

1. Get better at taking photos and documenting my life, which means scrapbooking.

(I bought the scrap book today.)

2. Travel. Travel. Travel.

I would like to see as many states as possible in the next 10 years and Europe of course!

3. Read 1,000 books.

Yes, I realize that is an outrageous amount, but I love to read. This number will probably change.

4. Write a book.

I'd like to write a book about my experiences.

Then again, who wouldn't.

5. uhh.. come up with more things for the list!

Those are the immediate things I came up with. I have other things I want to do, but I want to make sure they are material for my twenties. 

The world is my canvas and I fully intend to take it by storm :]

RIP in my teenage years, June 16, 2003 - June 15, 2010.

Well, this is it. My final moments as a teenager.

But what was it like for me to be a teenager?

Isn't that the question of the decade (at least for me)

My teenage years have been interesting, to say the least.

To say I haven't grown up at all would be a little naive.

Starting on June 16, 2003 ending tonight June 15, 2010. My teenage years are being kissed goodbye without too much sentiment. Of course, I enjoyed them for the most part. Would I willingly relive it? Absolutely not. But I have learned so much and grown so much it makes me almost sorry to say goodbye. Almost.

I, like everyone else, had many pivotal moments through out these years.. Entering high school, getting leads in theatre, getting my license, my first car accident, boys and boyfriends, parties, new friends, old friends, graduating high school, college, working, falling in love, getting my heart broken, death on many levels, moving out, moving home, moving in general, and of course just being a teen. An angsty teen.

Oh the life of the angsty teen.

Its so.. so.. angsty. :]

I went through a lot throughout these years.

I had to to be the person I am now. I'm not doing as much exploring to find out who I am, but rather growing as that person.

I can tell you I am so ready to continue growing and learning in this new adventure. 

I am so excited. So ready.

So lets say goodbye to my teen years with this look...

Happy Birthday to me :]

Stay tuned..

Tomorrow begins a whole new adventure.

and a simple list.

The countdown begins.

So today I took another adult step.

I asked my mom for help.

Thats right people, I willingly asked my mother for help. It isn't terribly often that I ask my parents for help and I don't understand why. They know so much! (yes mom, I know you are smiling as you read this)

We have decided to get my life into order to, hopefully, have a little more sense of stability and accomplishment as I embark on the next decade of my life.

In 26 hours, I will no longer be a teenager.

I suppose it is time to grow up.

And with this milestone I do believe I will treat myself a little to a fresh start in my twenties.

I think tomorrow I will treat myself to a haircut, get my untamed eyebrows manageable, buy a dress and of course.. new shoes!

I can't remember the last time I bought a new pair of nice shoes.

Of course, I'm working on a budget so I have to be mindful of how much I spend, but it is my birthday, I'm allowed to splurge a little bit. :]

I'm currently working on a list of 20 things I'd like to do in my twenties (of course it could be a little more or a little less and it will never be set in stone). I'll even attempt making a link so that it can be viewed through out the next 10 years of my life and I can watch as I make progress on it. I have a lot of things I want to do and I know 10 years will fly by so fast.

But, we will get into that more on Wednesday.

I'm currently trying to get into a routine. One of things on my list is directly related to this. I am writing every morning after my shower just to make sure I write something down for the day. I'm also trying to remember to write in here and write for me and of course read. :]

I forgot how much I love reading and now that I'm getting back into it, I can't stop. I'll finish one book and immediately jump into another without hesitation. Currently I am working on:
1. Finishing the Stephanie Plum Novels - hoping to get them for my birthday
2. Getting the next book in the Sue Grafton Alphabet series - I was really surprised by how into the story I got.
3. I'm currently reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I have heard rave reviews about. I'm pretty pumped to get further than twenty pages in.

There is always the other books that are sitting on my shelf just waiting to be cracked. Maybe I will also work on a list of books I want to read. :]

So the bf did something really sweet for me on Friday..

He had been secretive about his where a bouts all day, I only knew he was running errands and said he would be up later. I'd been having a crazy hectic blahhh awful week of stress and he knew it. He got to my house and brought me out to his truck where he made me turn around and close/cover my eyes. He opened his door and I heard him pulling some stuff out of the truck and set it out. "Turn around" and there was a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a bag with a stuffed zebra (zebras are my ABSOLUTE favorite.) and a card. The flowers were like lilies which are my favorite flower but are hard to find this time of year (for a good price) But these little flowers are unbelievably beautiful. I'll try to remember to take a picture of them tomorrow. Anyways, I named my zebra Oscar. We hang out. He sits with me on my bed. But anyways, I thought it was UBER sweet. :]

Well that was a rant and a half with absolutely no point if I've ever seen one.

Good night world. Tomorrow is the last day I will ever be a teenager. I guess I better make it a good one.


Well,  I'm going to crack open the notebook and write for a bit..

I guess it is time again to put that "Help Wanted" sign in the window.

Have you ever had the urge to just jump into your car and blast music?
Like as some kind of therapy?


Well...

that just totally happened to me.

Being the Gleek I am, I turned the Glee songs I have on full blast and on shuffle and cruised the streets until I felt I had sufficiently destroyed my voice for the night.

It was so relieving.

I didn't realize I was under so much stress until the past couple of days.

Since the beginning of the year this is what has happened.

1. I was basically told I could no longer go to school because of financial aid.
2. I changed jobs. I went from a really bad one to a really awesome one.
3. A good friend of mine committed suicide, which drudged up memories of my 2 other friends that took their own lives.
4. I lost my health insurance and got my own health insurance with my new job, only to find out that I could no longer go to the doctor I've seen practically my whole life.
5. Having a new job and trying to be good at it and not get fired is stressful in itself.
6. I'm beginning to have health issues, probably related to stress.

And thats all I can think of as of right now..
but isn't that enough?

While I'm happier now than I've ever been, I think I must be maturing/growing up in a way that I didn't think possible. I'm trying to take my issues and be proactive instead of being a negative nancy all the time. I do NOT want to be a negative nancy.

So, what do you do to relieve stress?
sing in the car?
read?
scream into a pillow?

I'm looking for another method before my body really starts falling apart.

Help?

I couldn't come up with anything, so just deal with my tangent. This very very sporadic tangent.

From the day I turned 9, I counted down the days till I turned 10. Double freaking digits.

I turned twelve and pined for the day I turned 13. Oh to be a teenager.

My thoughts turned quickly from "HOLY CRAP. High School starts tomorrow.." to "I JUST WANNA DRIVE."

I turned 16. Got my license. I felt like the world was my oyster. I could do anything and nobody could stop me.

Since then birthdays have been just another year older.

Yes, 18 came and went in the blink of an eye. I was graduated and off to college.

Now, I'm turning twenty. In less than a month.
No longer a teenager.
But its been even longer since I've been a care-free kid.

I really don't understand why 2006 me wanted to be an adult so bad. Sure the freedom was appealing. Living away from mom and dad was appealing and hell, it was only 5 years until I turned 21. I didn't have bills, didn't have to pay for my cell phone, my car insurance, my car.. anything.

Oh to be young again.

Present me is kicking past me right square in the behind.

EARTH TO 15 YEAR OLD ME WITH A JOB.
stop spending your money.
SAVE.
You will be grateful you did..

But, you can't go back in time. You can't change a freakin' thing.
DAMN.

Now, I would give my left knee (yes, I realize its my bad knee but seriously.. unrelated) to go back with what I know now.

Who wouldn't?

I don't really know whether I'd want to be a kid playing in the mud or 16 with the freedom to drive and not a care in the world.

I can't believe I wanted to be an adult with a full time job and bills. We are so oblivious when we don't have a care in the world that once we get thrust into the real world we are shell shocked at what happens.

CREDIT CARDS.BILLS.BABIES.(I'm aware you can get pregnant in high school, but thats a different entry)MARRIAGE.JOB.COLLEGE.PAYING TO GO TO SCHOOL.JAIL.JURYDUTY.
Like the fake Santa in the Santa Claus 2 said "..the list goes on and on." (At least thats what I hear him saying in my head)

Would I actually go back and relive high school? Umm.. NO. But, I would like to go back and sit down and have a face to face chitty chat with me and tell me what is up.

Things would be so much different.

And to close, the top 10 things I would tell myself.

1.) SAVE YOUR MONEY. You will be so grateful you did. You have no idea what is about to smack you in the face when you go out into the big bad world.

2.) DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Umm.. HELLO, you are in high school, the fact that some stupid girl said something behind your back is nothing compared to facing a boss or a professor or whomever that is attacking you from every angle.

3.) GET MORE INVOLVED. Everything you want to do, DO. You will be so grateful you did. Time goes a lot quicker once you are out of this place and while it really isn't too late to do any of that, you should do it so you can focus more on the other things you want to do now that you have the ability to do it.

4.) HE IS NOT THE BE ALL END ALL. Come on, like 1 out of every 100 couples in high school actually make it to marriage. And while the idea of marrying your high school sweetheart is ideal. They are dumb dumb dumb boys who do not think with the head on the top of their bodies. (My apologies mom) Besides, you probably going to break up with him to move onto the next great thing in like a week.. so seriously. MOVE ON.

5.) ENJOY YOUR FAMILY. While they are still your family, the world changes. So does the conversation and the competition. No more make believe for you. Besides, they won't be around forever, enjoy what you have while you have it.

6.) TAKE MORE PICTURES. You will be so happy you did. To be able to look back and say OHMYGOD, I did not do that, will be the best thing ever.. Now that I think about it.. HEY YOU, YEAH YOU THE ONE TYPING, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WORK ON THAT NOW.

7.) BE HAPPY. Going through life miserable really is miserable. Yes, you laugh at yourself now, but how much better would your experience be if you enjoyed it?

8.) STOP HATING PEOPLE. Yes, you are hysterical and are very good at comebacks/making people laugh at other people's expenses, but you never know who will and won't be your friend in the years to come.

9.) WORK HARD. Your grades do matter and it builds a fantastic work ethic once you are out.


and last and probably most important..

10.) LOVE YOURSELF. I think that's is pretty self explanatory.