I guess it is time again to put that "Help Wanted" sign in the window.

Have you ever had the urge to just jump into your car and blast music?
Like as some kind of therapy?


Well...

that just totally happened to me.

Being the Gleek I am, I turned the Glee songs I have on full blast and on shuffle and cruised the streets until I felt I had sufficiently destroyed my voice for the night.

It was so relieving.

I didn't realize I was under so much stress until the past couple of days.

Since the beginning of the year this is what has happened.

1. I was basically told I could no longer go to school because of financial aid.
2. I changed jobs. I went from a really bad one to a really awesome one.
3. A good friend of mine committed suicide, which drudged up memories of my 2 other friends that took their own lives.
4. I lost my health insurance and got my own health insurance with my new job, only to find out that I could no longer go to the doctor I've seen practically my whole life.
5. Having a new job and trying to be good at it and not get fired is stressful in itself.
6. I'm beginning to have health issues, probably related to stress.

And thats all I can think of as of right now..
but isn't that enough?

While I'm happier now than I've ever been, I think I must be maturing/growing up in a way that I didn't think possible. I'm trying to take my issues and be proactive instead of being a negative nancy all the time. I do NOT want to be a negative nancy.

So, what do you do to relieve stress?
sing in the car?
read?
scream into a pillow?

I'm looking for another method before my body really starts falling apart.

Help?

I couldn't come up with anything, so just deal with my tangent. This very very sporadic tangent.

From the day I turned 9, I counted down the days till I turned 10. Double freaking digits.

I turned twelve and pined for the day I turned 13. Oh to be a teenager.

My thoughts turned quickly from "HOLY CRAP. High School starts tomorrow.." to "I JUST WANNA DRIVE."

I turned 16. Got my license. I felt like the world was my oyster. I could do anything and nobody could stop me.

Since then birthdays have been just another year older.

Yes, 18 came and went in the blink of an eye. I was graduated and off to college.

Now, I'm turning twenty. In less than a month.
No longer a teenager.
But its been even longer since I've been a care-free kid.

I really don't understand why 2006 me wanted to be an adult so bad. Sure the freedom was appealing. Living away from mom and dad was appealing and hell, it was only 5 years until I turned 21. I didn't have bills, didn't have to pay for my cell phone, my car insurance, my car.. anything.

Oh to be young again.

Present me is kicking past me right square in the behind.

EARTH TO 15 YEAR OLD ME WITH A JOB.
stop spending your money.
SAVE.
You will be grateful you did..

But, you can't go back in time. You can't change a freakin' thing.
DAMN.

Now, I would give my left knee (yes, I realize its my bad knee but seriously.. unrelated) to go back with what I know now.

Who wouldn't?

I don't really know whether I'd want to be a kid playing in the mud or 16 with the freedom to drive and not a care in the world.

I can't believe I wanted to be an adult with a full time job and bills. We are so oblivious when we don't have a care in the world that once we get thrust into the real world we are shell shocked at what happens.

CREDIT CARDS.BILLS.BABIES.(I'm aware you can get pregnant in high school, but thats a different entry)MARRIAGE.JOB.COLLEGE.PAYING TO GO TO SCHOOL.JAIL.JURYDUTY.
Like the fake Santa in the Santa Claus 2 said "..the list goes on and on." (At least thats what I hear him saying in my head)

Would I actually go back and relive high school? Umm.. NO. But, I would like to go back and sit down and have a face to face chitty chat with me and tell me what is up.

Things would be so much different.

And to close, the top 10 things I would tell myself.

1.) SAVE YOUR MONEY. You will be so grateful you did. You have no idea what is about to smack you in the face when you go out into the big bad world.

2.) DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Umm.. HELLO, you are in high school, the fact that some stupid girl said something behind your back is nothing compared to facing a boss or a professor or whomever that is attacking you from every angle.

3.) GET MORE INVOLVED. Everything you want to do, DO. You will be so grateful you did. Time goes a lot quicker once you are out of this place and while it really isn't too late to do any of that, you should do it so you can focus more on the other things you want to do now that you have the ability to do it.

4.) HE IS NOT THE BE ALL END ALL. Come on, like 1 out of every 100 couples in high school actually make it to marriage. And while the idea of marrying your high school sweetheart is ideal. They are dumb dumb dumb boys who do not think with the head on the top of their bodies. (My apologies mom) Besides, you probably going to break up with him to move onto the next great thing in like a week.. so seriously. MOVE ON.

5.) ENJOY YOUR FAMILY. While they are still your family, the world changes. So does the conversation and the competition. No more make believe for you. Besides, they won't be around forever, enjoy what you have while you have it.

6.) TAKE MORE PICTURES. You will be so happy you did. To be able to look back and say OHMYGOD, I did not do that, will be the best thing ever.. Now that I think about it.. HEY YOU, YEAH YOU THE ONE TYPING, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WORK ON THAT NOW.

7.) BE HAPPY. Going through life miserable really is miserable. Yes, you laugh at yourself now, but how much better would your experience be if you enjoyed it?

8.) STOP HATING PEOPLE. Yes, you are hysterical and are very good at comebacks/making people laugh at other people's expenses, but you never know who will and won't be your friend in the years to come.

9.) WORK HARD. Your grades do matter and it builds a fantastic work ethic once you are out.


and last and probably most important..

10.) LOVE YOURSELF. I think that's is pretty self explanatory.